I know there’s been some silence round these parts. You will be happy to know that we are all still alive. Which, obviously, is the name of this parenting game anyway…keep the babies alive.
I have been up to my ears in work and trying to keep this house from busting at the seams with toddler sized messes. And, adult sized ones too – we’re not totally innocent. The thing is…since I now spend two of my four working days at home, it’s harder and harder to deny the mess that’s going on in these parts. When we moved in here our bedroom was the only room in the house that didn’t have any boxes or mess – I made sure the first night we were in that it was pretty much done save for a few finishing touches I needed to do to the decor. For about the whole first month we were here I would have to work in that room all day just because I couldn’t stand the mountains of boxes that littered our kitchen, dining and family room all screaming to be emptied. The Samurai and I would wake, breakfast, go to the gym and then while she was napping I’d sit in my quiet bedroom and work just to avoid looking at the Armageddon downstairs also known as my kitchen.
Anyway – enough about that. I finally took B to the pediatric GI last week at the recommendation of his pediatrician. The bleeding was not letting up despite my attempts at regulating my enthusiastic breasts and their overachieving ways. I waited for about an hour and a half last Friday to be seen and the gist of the appointment went like this.
The German GI: Hm. With zee dry skin and zee bleeding I’d say he haz a cooow’s milk proh-teen intolerance. BUT! If you are not seeing blood every day, then it izn’t cooow’s milk.
Then the German GI lubed his pinky finger and inserted it into my unsuspecting baby’s bum. No one could have prepared me for what followed. You think it’s hard to watch your kid get a vaccination? Try watching them get a finger put in their bottom and then watch as poop and blood spurt out of it upon removal of said finger.
The German GI: Oh! Zee poop seems normal breast fed poop but zee blood. His ay-nus does not feel tight but he could have …
At this point I am upset over my screaming child who I am now bouncing and trying to calm down, I am upset over the things that just came out of my child, namely the blood, and now I’m fighting nervous laughter listening to the German say things like “Anus,” and “Perineum” and “Sphincter.”
So basically the very kind GI shrugged his shoulders and told me to wait it out. If in a month things got worse (his skin or the bleeding) I am to return and they will recommend B be fed an elemental formula. If things continue as is, he said, we are to return in 3 months for a check-up. The fact that B is gaining weight and growing as well as hitting developmental milestones leads him to believe that this is just something he’ll grow out of.
I go back and forth between believing the doctors and fretting.
I did exhaustive Googling from Friday through Sunday and, because I am the master of playing Dr. Google, decided that starting Monday I was going on a VERY strict diet that would move to wipe out trace amounts of dairy (Goodbye Saturday morning donut, Adios store bought sandwich bread) and all soy products (Ciao EVERYTHING THAT WAS EVER PUT IN A PACKAGE OR BOX AND SOLD AS FOOD). We aren’t soy eaters in this house (as in we don’t regularly eat tofu or seitan, etc) but I challenge you to go to your pantry and start reading the ingredients on your cereal, your pretzels, your snack foods and treats. Then, open your fridge, your freezer. Read the ingredients. $10 says that if it’s in a package it contains soy. $10 says it probably also contains dairy.
After my Googling I drove to Whole Foods knowing I would find the RARE dairy free/soy free convenience food stuffs that I would be able to eat. Because I am lazy and busy and sometimes opening a protein bar for breakfast is easier than making toast. And now I can’t eat toast because the bread in our fridge? HAS DAIRY. (WHAT THE EFF.)
Luckily everything I bought has been tasty (So Delicious Coconut yogurt in Chocolate flavor, while very soupy in consistency, is DELICIOUS.) but it also cost a million dollars. I walked out of the store with a tiny tiny bag of things (rice cheese, yogurt, protein bars, a soy-free dairy-free buttery spread…) and spent $65.
I’ve been waiting and watching this week – inspecting every poopy diaper my son produces like I’m looking for hidden clues to buried treasure in the yellow mush. Turns out, I may have nailed the problem on the head this time. The mucus in his poop has almost completely stopped, I have yet to see blood this week and his skin seems to be looking less dry, less scaly. I’m not ready to do my victory dance just yet but am hoping against hope that my adherence to this new diet is the key to stopping the bleeding.
I’m also hoping that I stop being that mom who constantly talks about poop.
***
In happier news, let’s all wish Baby B a happy conception birthday on Saturday, shall we? Turns out you can get pregnant just by doing it once. Or twice in the same say. Whatevs.
